Time-Outs

So, this mama was finally able to sneak out (and I do mean sneak out since the LAST thing I wanted to do was wake the littles!) and get some early morning shots on the farm.

I LOVE this time of day. I'm a morning person through and through. There is just something about greeting the day as it gets started that inspires me.

The shots didn't turn out exactly how I'd hoped but I'm happy with them nonetheless and even happier I was able to do it.

For me, the important part was actually making the time to do this for myself. I was able to take a "time-out" and not be "mom" for a bit. Having these moments makes you realize how important it is to do this for yourself. One of my best friends gave me some of the best advice I've ever heard just before I had our first child. She said, "Ashley, be sure to give yourself time to just be you. You have to step back and remember who YOU are and make sure you don't lose sight of her because it's really easy to do."

I didn't really understand that advice until I had our second child. Then, it clicked. Up until then I'd been handling everything pretty well (for the most part). I was "mom", "wife", "working professional", "farmer", "friend", "daughter", etc. I was ecstatic with it all but it was always exhausting. When we had our second child is when I really felt drained and unable to keep up with it all. I felt like I was "on" all the time. I had all these labels on me but never really had any time for me. I didn't make any time for me. I literally didn't know how to anymore. And let me tell you, it showed. I was stressed, exhausted, cranky, moody, you name it. Everyone around me felt it but I didn't know how to fix it. Luckily, those around me did. My wonderful husband and my mom helped me to realize I was losing sight of myself and needed to take some time for just me.

Easier said than done.

It took them awhile to convince me to do even the smallest of things, like take 15 minutes to go to our bedroom and just rest. Yeah, I was resistant to even that. In my head I kept thinking, "what if the baby needs me?" Or I'd think: "I could start a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher and prep dinner in 15 minutes." So many thoughts would flash through my mind of other things I could do besides taking a time-out just for me. And the guilt. Oh, the guilt at the idea of not getting things done or not taking care of the kids for even 15 minutes was TOUGH. Thank goodness my husband, mom and friends were there to SQUASH it. They brought my back to reality and made me see that taking a break from it all would benefit my family just as much as it would benefit me.

It was little things at first that got me away from it all. I'd go get a coffee by myself or read a chapter in my latest book or I'd sneak out and take early morning pictures! I can't tell you how much this helped and is still helping.

We get so many labels put on us. Mom (or Dad), wife (or husband/partner), working professional, small business owner, friend, daughter (or son), etc. Life is full of labels and we take them on without a second thought, hopefully, we happily embrace them! But make sure you still make time to just be you and remove those labels for a bit. It wasn't until I started taking these time outs that my outlook truly improved. I was able to look forward to my labels for that day. It made me appreciate my time with my children so much more or those stolen moments with my husband where we just talked and caught up on our days. Those are priceless moments that can be so easy to take for granted, especially if we're so caught up in our labels that we aren't taking time-outs.

The truth is, this is hard. Adulting is hard. Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard! It's okay to think it, acknowledge it and even say it aloud. You'd only be voicing what so many are feeling. There's nothing wrong with admitting your fears, your hardships, your faults! We all have them, trust me. No one is as perfect as they may seem.

Don't compare yourself to others. You're you. There will only ever be one YOU in the history of the world. That's pretty freakin' cool if you ask me. So, embrace it, own it, WORK IT! Be you. And as time goes on and you take on different labels in life, remember to take time-outs for YOU.

I hope some of you read this and if you haven't already, you realize it's okay to not be "on" all the time. Put yourself in time-out. You won't regret it.

Until next time, happy time-outs all!

Cheers from Farmama!

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PS a few more shots from my morning "time-out"